I’m really just a sad, confused, lost girl. You know the lost boys from Peter Pan? I’m basically that. As a girl. Just, when I had you, I figured it was forever. We had our ups and downs, but I’d like to think that the ups outweighed the downs. We just outgrew each other, I tell myself. We just grew apart. But why did it have to be like that? Why couldn’t we work through that? Why weren’t we able to fight for our love? Was it that I was already too broken to be fixed, or that I was gaining independence & didn’t rely on you like I used to? You wanted someone who needed you. Not only for the little thongs, but for everything. You need someone leaning on you 24/7. I changed. Maybe that’s what it was. My life was finally moving, and you just didn’t fit anymore. But I wish you did. Because it’s slower now and all I want is you. Your arms around me, that funny way you laughed, asking me to go outside with you while you smoked to keep you company. The way you smelled, the fact that I had to wash our sheets every two days cause you sweat too much. How I got used to the fact that we slept together every night for 8 months. I can’t get over you, even after what you put me through. I miss you too much. And it’s even harder now that you’re engaged, all of a sudden in the Navy, and going to be married in just a few months… We were together for 2 years… You were my best friend. We shared everything. And this girl of 5 months is more to you than that? It hurts. I can’t help but hurting. Do you ever think of me? Little things we shared? I miss you, Matt. What am I supposed to do now that you’re hers?
History. People used to dislike me because of history. High school? History. Middle? History. Elementary? It’s all history. But somehow, people held onto that. I was the icky girl? I was the girl no one wanted to hang around? I was cast off from those groups I cared about being in. But I honestly don’t care at all now, cause I’m awesome. Like come on. I’m great. I love myself. High school? History? You wouldn’t catch me saying I love myself back then. In fact, I had a lot of hate for myself. Because of what? History. That’s what it all comes down to. The reason we hold onto hate, why we despise people we’ve never spoken to, the reason we as a whole can’t come together and just say “Hey, this is here. This is now. Forget about the past, our relationships, the hate between races & gender & choices. We are people. We will live in this moment and not give a crap about what others are saying. Hate? Okay. Love? You too! You made a choice I disagree with? Alrighty.” We, as a whole, need to get over history. Just get over it. It’s over. Just love.
Making a grocery list is such a process for me…. First on the fridge, then on a sheet of paper of everything I need, then organized by category, & finally organized by aisle/category. I’m not ocd or anything…. #grocerylist #grocery #list #shopping #shoppinglist #process #ocd #imnotocd #category #aisle #papers #chaos
After I tan, all I wanna do is sleeeeeep. #iwantsleep #sleep #cute #tan #tanning #fakebake #redhairdontcare #redhair #redhead #gingy #glasses #supercute #smile #nicesmile
About two hours after it was finished. I love it.
Tatted up! Thanks to Amelia from Cheap Trx in St. Louis!
love the anchor
My new addition. I’ve been waiting for this for so long; unbelievably happy. Finishing the inside up in April!